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Adoption

samuel kee —  February 7, 2011 — 2 Comments

So then why did we adopt?

When I was three years-old, my parents decided that we should foster a child.  I remember the first day that Brian came into our lives—he was three, too.  I had two older sisters, so it was fun to have another boy in our home. 

The “idea” was for us to help this child through a rough patch in his life.  For whatever reason, Brian’s biological family could not be a part of his life; so Brian was put in custody of the state.  The state tried to put kids like Brian into loving foster homes, even if just temporarily. 

Most kids bounce around from foster home to foster home.  I can’t imagine having a childhood like that.  And, to be honest, I don’t know how many homes Brian went to before he found ours.

His last name was King; mine was Kee.

Brian lived with our family for a number of years.  Then in the second grade, we decided to make it official; we chose to adopt Brian into our family.  He would no longer be called King, but Kee, just like me.

We started off just wanting to help a child for a little while, but we grew in love with Brian.  We wanted him in our family.

We did not need him to be in our family, we wanted him to be in our family.  There’s a vast difference between the two.  After all, my parents didn’t need a child, since they already had three children (and would eventually have five).  We didn’t need Brian so that we could finally be a family or finally be happy.  We already were a family and we already were happy.  We did not need Brian because of the money he would bring into our home; in fact, he didn’t bring any money to our family and he would eventually cost our family, as do all children. 

So why then did we adopt him?  If not because of need, then why?  Because we wanted him and we loved him.  We would have been just fine without him; he did not make-up for anything that we lacked.  His adoption was completely for love’s sake, because he was precious and we wanted him to be a part of our lives. 

Brian has been my brother ever since; and he always will be.

This is analogous to what it means to be adopted by God as his child.  Romans 8:15-16 says, “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption.  And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”

We are not slaves, but adopted children.  A master needs a slave (to do work, serve him, earn him money, etc.); a father does not need an adopted child.  God did not need more children in order to be complete or happy or fulfilled, much like my family did not need another child. 

So if God chose to adopt us as his children, then why did he do it?  It was not because God needed us, but because God wanted us.  God did not adopt us out of obligation, but out of love.  He did not welcome us into his family out of his lack, but so that he could give to us from his fullness.

God wants to make you his child.  Just let that statement penetrate into your soul: God wants you.  That’s the only reason why he would ever bring you into his family.  He wants you and he loves you.  There are no conditions that you have to meet and there are no obligations that you have to uphold.  God freely adopted you, and those in his family live in the freeness of his love.  This means that we don’t have to fear a time when nobody wants us; we are not to be slaves to that kind of emotional abuse.

Instead, we live in the freedom of being an adopted child of God, knowing that Somebody wants us, at every second, of every day. 

It strikes me that Brian King no longer exists; only Brian Kee remains.  If you’re adopted by God, then the old, unwanted person doesn’t exist anymore; there’s only the precious, loved, and wanted self that remains.  Thus to be adopted is synonymous with being wanted.

© 2011 by Samuel Kee

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The Wanter Seat

samuel kee —  February 1, 2011 — Leave a comment

We all have an empty seat to fill in our hearts.

I remember when one of my friends started a new romantic relationship with a girl.  He said to me, “It feels so good to be wanted.”  He went on to tell me that for years he had been a loner, just keeping to himself.  He said that he had been miserable—but not now.

As he told me this, to be honest, I thought to myself, “Yeah, but how long is this going to last?”  What happens when the girl is no longer in the picture, will you be “unwanted?”  It’s so scary to give your heart away like that, for it can be dropped in an instant.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be wanted, so don’t read me wrongly.  We all want to be wanted; and that’s a natural and healthy thing.  We all have an empty seat to fill in our hearts: the seat where the “Wanter” sits.  We attempt to fill that Wanter seat in many ways and with many things.  We welcome so many applicants to fill the seat of the Wanter in our lives.  This will be the person or thing or cause that we ask to fill the very special position of “wanting me” in our lives.

I have a Wanter seat; you have a Wanter seat, just like my friend had a Wanter seat.  In his case, a girl came into his life and sat down in it.  She became the Wanter in his life. 

But what happens when she decides to get up and walk away from this seat?  When the seat is empty, the pain will strike, as she takes away a piece of him as she goes.  Then he’ll soon accept other applicants for the position of Wanter in his life.

There has to be a better way; there has to be a kind of Wanter that will not move on, taking a chunk of your soul with it when it goes. 

Anything that sits in the Wanter seat that is not God, is an idol.  If you give your life to God and allow him to sit in that seat, then you will not be hurt.  For God will not leave you and he will not take from you.  Idols, on the other hand, make demands on us and eventually abuse and abandon us.  Idols are leaches that have no life in themselves; they merely suck the life out of their hosts, as they sit menacingly in the Wanter seat.

Jesus told his followers, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45).  Jesus was not a poser or an imposter or an idol, in other words.  Jesus did not come to take from you, but to give to you.  An idol takes life, but the Son of God gives life. 

What does the Son of God (in our verse his title is “The Son of Man”) give?  Jesus gives us his life as a ransom.  In those days, slaves could be bought from the marketplace if the right “ransom” price were given.  As the metaphor goes, we are the slaves on the auction block, waiting for someone to buy us and take us home.  Along comes God to do the bidding.  He looks at us, standing there in our dirt and dismay, and says, “I’ll buy that slave.”  He goes on, “The ransom price that I will give will be the life of my Son, Jesus.” 

God then gives up his legitimate Son in order to bring home illegitimate children—that’s us.  Having spent so much on us, with blood as proof, we know that he wants us.  Thus God is the supreme Wanter, who gives dearly in order to claim that seat in our lives.

Don’t fall for the tricks of false Wanters—they will destroy your life, bit by bit.  You deserve far more than that.  Your Wanter seat was built to be filled by just one, God himself.  Don’t settle for less.  Of course, this doesn’t mean that you cannot have romantic relationships or desire other things in life.  I’m not saying that at all.  I’m talking about opening up your life to a Wanter that will remain when all the others fail you.    

© 2010 by Samuel Kee

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