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i am alone

samuel kee —  February 11, 2013 — 1 Comment

aloneHave you ever felt like you were all alone?  Sometimes, it feels like we’re all alone, sitting in a hallway, surrounded by locked doors.  We can hear everyone else talking on the other side of the doors, but we are cut off from them, just sitting there.  They don’t know we’re there, listening to their words and longing to be a part.

How does God feel about our loneliness?  I encourage you to read Psalm 88, which is absolutely stunning.  The writer is brutally honest, describing his feelings of being all alone, trying to make sense of God’s plan.  He cries out to God, but God does not answer (verses 1 and 13).  He says that it feels like God has cast his soul away and hidden his face (verse 14).  He even goes so far as to say that God has sent his “terrors” to afflict him (verses 15-17).

Perhaps you can relate to the ending of Psalm 88, when the writer says, “Darkness is my closest friend” (verse 18). 

There is a world to discover in that little sentiment.  Being alone is one thing, but being a companion of darkness is another.  It’s not just that the writer is by himself, but that he has been abandoned by his friends and the only thing to come to his side is darkness.  His friends left him, he feels.  God has left him, he feels.  But Darkness has come to hold his hand.

This presents us with a new strategy for being alone.  When you’re alone, seek the companionship of Darkness. 

Why?  Because you will find a Friend there. 

When Jesus was on the cross, he was all alone.  His friends left him, God left him, and he groaned beneath deadly terrors.  He cried out, but no one answered him.  Then the sky turned black and Darkness became his closest friend (Matthew 27:45). 

He did not seek the light, he did not try to break down the locked doors, he simply hung there in the crushing silence.  That moment was a portal through which he entered fully into our world—your world.  This means that you can still find him there. 

You have a Friend waiting for you in the Darkness.        

© Samuel Kee, 2013 

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The Black Dog

samuel kee —  October 8, 2012 — 4 Comments

You’re alone in the woods at night, trying to make it home, when suddenly a dog attacks you.  The dog is large and black, without a collar.  His fur stands on end.  His ears point high and he has glowing eyes.  There is also a large scar running diagonal across his nose.  After biting you in the leg, he runs back into the cover of the trees.  Over the next several days, many of those in your community also report being attacked by a dog in the woods.  When asked to describe the animal, they all say the same thing: it’s a large black dog, his fur stands up, his ears point high, he has glowing eyes, no collar, and a scar running diagonal across his nose.  His attack is always the same; he runs out of hiding and bites the victim in the leg, before going back into the woods.

Oh yeah, and this happens to 35 of your neighbors, on 35 separate occasions.

How many dogs do you think were involved in these attacks?  Of course, you’d surmise that there was just one dog, not 35 different dogs.  Given the detailed description of the dog and how it attacked, you’d be right in assuming that the same dog attacked each person.

Now I want to talk about something else that attacks us, which no one can escape.  If you poll 35 or more people (which is a statistically significant number, by the way), you’ll find that each person is attacked by thoughts that can fit within these five categories:

  1. I have little worth.
  2. I am not good enough.
  3. I am not accepted.
  4. I cannot be forgiven.
  5. I am alone (and no one understands me).

You have probably been attacked by one or more of these, too.  I would wager that thousands of people could be polled, only to reveal that each person has been attacked by these five thoughts.  In other words, polling a thousand people would not reveal a thousand different thoughts, but just the same five.

Why?  Because it’s the same black dog.

And this black dog attacks us all with the same five lies about ourselves.  If you were to describe the ways that the black dog attacks you, you’d probably say, “He causes me to think I’m not worth it, I’m not good enough, I’m not accepted, I cannot be forgiven, and I’m all alone.”  If I were to ask 35 of your neighbors the same question, they would all report the same kind of attack.

Why?  Because it’s the same black dog.

The same Black Dog attacks us with the same lies.  This is crucial for us to understand.  It means that the thoughts that attack us are not true, but are from the poisonous mouth of our enemy.  He hides in the woods and attacks us all with the same deceitful thoughts.  His strategy is lies.  Lies are his teeth and he wants to sink them deeply into each of our hearts.

It’s not true.  It’s not you.  It’s the Black Dog.  If it were not the same dog, then each person would describe a different dog.  But the fact is, that we all describe the same dog.  It’s not in our heads, we are not the problem, it’s the Black Dog, turned loose in our world.

The Black Dog wants to devour us, bite by bite.  After recognizing his lies, then we must fight him with the truth.

© Samuel Kee, 2012

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Rethink Your Troubles

samuel kee —  June 27, 2012 — Leave a comment

My friend Brandon and I are in leadership at my church.  Once some members came to us and said that they had some problems with the way we were doing things; so they wanted to talk with us about it.  Brandon, who is a captain in the Army, responded quickly and firmly, “Don’t just come with the problems, come with the solutions!”  To their credit, they did.

I just read this amazing episode in the book of Judges in the Bible.  In chapter 6, we read that the Israelites were getting hammered by the Midianites.  An angel of the Lord appears to a guy named Gideon in order to encourage him.  But Gideon gives a response that often echoes in all of our hearts, “Please, sir, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?” (Judges 6:13).

We first need to take time to allow his honest question the right to search our hearts.  His is a question that grows within us all, like a wall that eventually blocks our view of God.  We wonder what God is doing about our pain, about the suffering in this world, about the trials we’re enduring.  “Why has all this happened to us?”  Give yourself the freedom of owning that question for yourself.

Then God responded to Gideon most unexpectedly, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?” (Judges 6:14).  The wonder of this exchange is breathtaking.  Basically, Gideon tries to shove the blame onto God, but then God gives the opportunity to Gideon.  Gideon wants to know “why?” and God answers with “how.”  God wants to make a warrior out of Gideon.

We assume that the problem is God’s, but God lets us know that the answer is ours.  But we’re not to worry, for God will be with us.  “And the Lord turned to him and said, ‘But I will be with you.’” (Judges 6:16).  This passage opened my eyes to a brilliant truth and I hope it does the same for you.  When I am bemoaning, “Why has all this happened to me?”  God gently reminds me, “Don’t forget, you can do something about this, too, you know.”

Instead of bemoaning God’s seeming lack of involvement, go yourself and get to work on the situation.  Pray the whole time, “God, be with me as I go, walk me through this.”  Be like young David hunting down the giant with only a sling shot and a prayer.

We are so weak, self-centered, and childish.  We force solutions on God that we are capable of achieving with his help.  Do you realize that?  When I am busy ranting to God about how life is turning out, he turns to me and says, “Why don’t you get up off your big, fat couch and get to work?  Did you forget that you can do amazing things with my help?”

May we get off the bench and get into the game, where he can best coach us.  Take an inventory of your present grudge list, the one you use against God, if you know what I mean.  Look at that list and see each item as opportunities that you could accomplish.  God says to us, “You go in this might of yours and save the situation; do I not send you?”  We come to God with our problems, but he says to us, “Don’t just come with problems, but also with solutions.”  We forget how capable we are, with God’s help.

Nonetheless, there are situations that are way out of our control or power zone.  But we’re not off the hook, yet.  When it seems like there is absolutely nothing for you to do, there is an artillery of special significance.  This artillery is prayer and fasting.  Doing these two things are the missiles that will send the enemy sinking, that will call down the fire from Heaven, that will enlist the Most High God in your battle.  Never shrug your shoulders and say that you can do nothing.  Put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18), get into the battle, and pray.

Rethink your troubles, for you are capable of much more than you realize.  The answer to your prayer might be that God wants to make a warrior out of you.

© Samuel Kee, 2012

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Your Life in 3 Words

samuel kee —  April 16, 2012 — Leave a comment

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We live in the pathway of this paradox.

I can summarize your life in just three words.  I know that sounds harsh at worst and overly simplistic at best.  The same goes for me.  My life can be wrapped up in just three words.  While we may buck at the thought of using just three words to capture something as complex as a human life, these three words will go a long way.  They can carry a ton of weight and will help you to make sense of much in your life.  Really.

What are the three words: problem, solution, and response.  That’s it. 

First, we have to understand our problem.  You have to realize what a mess you’re in, before you move on to anything else.  Different people have different manifestations of the mess.  Not everyone has the same mess, but everyone is in a mess.  Call it whatever you like to call it.  You could call it sin.  Or brokenness.  Our world is languishing beneath the weight of something heavy.  Life falls apart; we are surrounded by alienation and we are in alienation.  The things that we want to do, we can’t seem to figure out how to do.  The things we don’t want to do, we keep doing anyway.  We can’t control situations; the situations control us.  We’re on a downward spiral.  If left to ourselves, we’ll spend eternity apart from the God who made us and loved us.  And when we’ve been traveling a million, million ages into an eternity of suffering away from the merciful presence of God, we will have only just begun.  Facing eternity, we’re always at the beginning of our pain and never at the end.  That’s a huge problem.  Our sins were not committed against just anyone, but an eternal and Holy One. 

Second, we have to understand his solution.  God’s solution might come in a thousand different ways to us each day.  Because we are finite, we have no concept of how much an infinite being intercedes for us and cares for us.  But we do know the solution that he has chosen to reveal to us.  And it’s the solution to our biggest problem.  There’s a story about the great Hebrew trial in the book of Exodus.  They were enslaved in Egypt and God was planning a rescue mission.  God was going to strike down the firstborn in Egypt of every family that did not have lamb’s blood painted on their door frame.  Those who painted blood on their door frame we spared.  Even more, they were able to walk out of their slavery in Egypt, by going beneath the banner of blood on their doors.  They went from slavery to freedom beneath the blood of the lamb.  Thousands of years later, their Messiah was called “The Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world” (John 1:29).  Only his blood was not painted on a wooden doorway, but on a wooden cross.  And those who take shelter beneath the banner of blood on the cross, are free to leave their huge problem of sin.  They can walk out of their sin-prison, into freedom.  “Let my people go, so that they can worship me” goes the Exodus refrain (7:16).  True freedom is freedom from sin.  The whole point of freedom is to be with God in worship.  When we’ve been with God for a million, million ages, we’ll only be at the beginning of our joy and never at the end.

Third, we have to understand our response.  The plot line of the Scriptures is this: how are sinful beings going to get into a relationship with a holy God?  That’s what the whole bible is about.  The Bible wrestles with the paradox of transcendence, on the one hand, and intimacy, on the other.  Scripture demands both.  It wants both a Holy God and intimate communion with sketchy mortals.  We’re to make sure that we realize there is no god like our God.  We’re to feel the power of him having no rivals.  We’re to shudder at his holiness.  At the same time, we’re to long for being with him.  God loves us and he wants to be with his people.  We love God and long to be with our Maker.  Life doesn’t make sense without a Maker.  The whole of the Bible is about the paradoxical move from holiness to intimacy.  Yet, it makes this daring move anyway.  It goes where no other religion has dared to go.  It attempts to put our transcendent and holy God, under the same roof with crooked and craven sinners.  And it does.  Whether we’re ready for it or not, it does.  We live in the pathway of this paradox.  While being caught up in the eye of this storm, our response is to be that of worship.  “We do not know what else to do, but our eyes are on you” (2 Chronicles 20:12).  Our response is worship.  Gratitude.  Thanksgiving.  Exuberance.  Joy.  The birthplace of joy is the crossroads of holiness and intimacy, that fearful intersection of God and humanity.

Our problem, God’s solution, and our response.  These are the three colors that are used to paint our lives.  You need to locate yourself within these three.  Are you in denial that you have a problem?  Are you able to see God’s solution?  Are you withholding a response?  Your life won’t make sense outside of these three words.

© Samuel Kee, 2012 

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Two Common Mistakes

samuel kee —  March 19, 2012 — 2 Comments
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Jesus is our life.

There are two common spiritual mistakes when it comes to Jesus.  And both involve where you put Jesus.  By dealing with these two common mistakes, you’ll be able to solve a lot of your own spiritual struggles.

The first mistake happens when we do not make Jesus the goal of our life.  We put him somewhere in the middle of our life’s trajectory, rather than at the end of it.  We fail to recognize him as the only God.  This is not good.  We place something else at the end of our life; we make something/one else the goal of our lives.  This confusion causes us to live for something other than Jesus.  He is not the goal of our life/he is not the God of our life.  What are examples of these other goals?  Comfort, control, significance, pleasures, and possessions.  Think about your own life, your goals and desires.  What are you truly living for?  Are you living for Jesus?  Is he the goal of your life, what you most want to get out of it?

Here’s one way I’ve seen this mistake work out.  Sometimes, well meaning Christians assume that they can continue to sin, because Jesus will just forgive them.  Those who have this deadly mentality are confused.  They are not really living for Jesus.  Instead, they are living for the sin they love to commit and merely using Jesus’ grace as a means to get it.  Jesus becomes the means to another end, not the end, himself.  Jesus is trampled on while in hot pursuit of something else.

Seriously, so many of our problems, issues, and struggles would be solved if we kept Jesus as the goal of our life.  Were I to keep Jesus in his rightful place on the throne of my life, then I would not have the opportunity to place myself on the throne and mess things up.

The second mistake is more subtle, but just as deadly.  In this second mistake, we rightly put Jesus as the goal of our life and make him our purpose; however, we use some other means to get to him.  For instance, we might use religious regulations or laws to get to him.  “If I do _________________ (fill in the blank), then I’ll gain Jesus.”  If I pray, then I will get Jesus.  If I avoid this sin, then I will get Jesus.  If I repent, then I will get Jesus.  If I take communion, then I will get Jesus.  If I read Scripture, then I will get Jesus.  If I serve the poor, then I will get Jesus.  Do you get the idea?  Sure, you’ve made Jesus the goal of your life, but, you are attempting to earn your salvation.  Jesus doesn’t want to be just the goal of your life, he wants to be the means, as well.

My friend Colin Smith gives a helpful illustration.  He says it’s like telling a drowning man “If you swim to shore, I will send you a lifeboat.”  Do you see the trouble?  A drowning man cannot swim to shore.  He does not need a lifeboat when he gets to the shore, he needs the lifeboat as he’s struggling in the water.  In the same way, you do not need Jesus just at the end of your life, but in the middle, when you’re desperate and drowning.  Jesus is our lifeboat.  He is the one who saves us and then carries us to the shore.  We cannot save ourselves by keeping religious rules.  We cannot get to Jesus by our own moral/religious efforts.  We will perish.

Do you see?  Jesus must be both the goal of our life and the means of our life.  He is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end.  Jesus is our life.  Before trying to solve your problems, come to Jesus.  Before trying to get rid of a bad habit, come to Jesus.  Before trying to repent, come to Jesus.  Then after you go to Jesus, keep going to him.  Don’t run to pleasures, run to Jesus.  Don’t run to more possessions, run to Jesus.  Don’t run to power, run to Jesus.  Don’t run to comfort, run to Jesus.

You will be utterly astounded at what Jesus can do with a person that entrusts herself to him.  He will change you and you will forever, never be the same.

© Samuel Kee, 2012

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My Father’s Garage

samuel kee —  October 11, 2011 — Leave a comment

Do not make any verdicts on your life before placing it in his healing hands

“No one can be saved—in virtue of what he can do.  Everyone can be saved—in virtue of what God can do” (Karl Barth).

When I was growing up, my dad rebuilt wrecked cars.  He’d go to the junkyard or auction, bid on a real wreck, and then have it delivered to our home.  Some of these cars just had fender benders, but most were totaled.  For insurance purposes, to be totaled means to be beyond repair.  And that’s the way these cars looked to me when they arrived at our home.  When I looked at the car, it looked beyond hope, but when my dad looked at it, he saw the finished product.

After all, I was not the mechanic.  If left up to me, the car would remain in the junkyard and eventually hauled off to the scrap yard.  I did not have the creativity, perseverance, know-how, technology, or desire to rebuild such broken things.

But my dad had all of these in spades.  Junk didn’t scare him, nor did hard work.  To him, these cars were worth it.

I know it’s a crude analogy, but it seems to fit the way God sets his special eye on us when we’re junking away with the rest of the wrecks.  God has no taste for the cars that shine, but for those who are at their worst.  The ones the world rejects.  The ones that are beyond repair.

Totaled.  That’s a good word to describe us cars; and if left to ourselves, there is no way that we could ever be roadworthy again.  We are twisted and caved, with flat tires and broken glass, our engine is cracked and axels pulled.  There is no way that we should ever be driven again.

But God has his special eye on us; he loves to bring home the unwanted.  He loves giving second chances to those in the junkyard.

“No one can be saved—in virtue of what he can do.  Everyone can be saved—in virtue of what God can do.”  The salvage yard is not a place of potential, but a place of condemnation.  Salvation does not start with a working engine, but with the word “totaled” written on your title.  Salvation begins in the salvage yard.

God can save you.  He is the master mechanic who loves putting wrecks back on the road.  You are never beyond his repair, unless you try to fix yourself.  When we try to fix ourselves, we resist his tender garage.

We cannot fix ourselves, our only option is surrender.  No one has the ability to fix himself, on the one hand, but absolutely everyone can be fixed by God, on the other.  Salvation is both narrow and broad at the same time.

Do not make any verdicts on your life before placing it in his healing hands.  Do not say, “I am junk,” before hearing Him say, “You are loved.”

© Samuel Kee, 2011

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My Ex

samuel kee —  September 12, 2011 — Leave a comment

We must play the role.

I’ve got an Ex.  A big Ex, actually.  You probably do, too.  Big Ex haunts us everyday, barely giving us room to breathe.  Our Big Ex puts relentless pressure on us; and unless we “put out,” then we’re nobody.  We must play the role, perform, and do what’s Expected.

Yes, I said the nasty word, I identified our Big Ex—EXPECTATIONS!  You’ve got them and I’ve got them.  No matter where we turn, people are expecting things from us.  Teachers expect homework and good test grades; bosses expect higher sales and innovation; coaches expect better conditioning and skill; etc.

We’ve got so many expectations on us, that some of us are ready to crack.  Here are some signs that you’re suffering from your Big Ex: throwing, yelling, overeating, or hopelessness.  We fear letting down our Big Ex, because we don’t want to lose out on what normally follows: the Big A.

Affirmation!

Usually, affirmation follows expectation.  When you fulfill the seemingly impossible demands of the Big Ex, then you’ll get a pat on the back: “Aren’t you a good girl!” or “Aren’t you a fine boy!”  We get the Big A in the form of more money, more responsibility, more authority, more territory, etc.

I was reading Revelation 1 yesterday, and I noted that God flipped our formula around.  God put the Big A before the Big Ex.  God gave affirmation first and then expectation.

God opened up his home to the disciple named John and had John sit down on his couch.  Well, at least that’s how I imagine it.  As John was lying there, he expected God to start reading the list of all the things that God wanted him to do.  If John were able to perform God’s expectations, then God might give him a pat on the…seat.

But God welcomes John in and has him sit back and relax.  God begins by giving John the Big A.  God says things like, “John, I love you.  You’re pretty special to me, so much so that I was willing to die in your place.  John, I freed you from your sin by my blood.  Oh, and there’s more.  I also made you into a kingdom.  That’s right, you’re officially Kingdom John.  And get this, I also made you into a priest, so that you could come visit with me anytime you want.”[1]

You can imagine John’s total shock at hearing God give him the Big A, before he spoke about the Big Ex.  Can you imagine what that must have been like?  If I were to go into God’s presence, I would expect the Divine Bug Zapper to greet me, not the Divine Care Bear.

But God wants to give us the Big A, way before he gives us the Big Ex.

God continues by letting John know what he wants him to do, “Write what you see in a book and send it to the seven churches…” (1:11)—that was John’s Big Ex, to be God’s writer.  It was going to be a tough job, especially since John would be persecuted for his faith in Jesus.  But, by knowing God’s overwhelming affirmation first, John could persevere through anything.

Before you crack under the pressure of your own Big Ex, please rest in God’s affirmation.  He loves you and nothing can stand in the way of his love for you, not even your sin.  He dealt with your sin once and for all so that he would not lose you.

© Samuel Kee, 2011

[1] Taken from Revelation 1:5-6.

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The Issue

samuel kee —  August 27, 2011 — Leave a comment

To me, it’s a social justice issue; that’s why I’m so passionate about hope.  In America we’re realizing that we must care for those in need.  The church today is especially sensitive about caring for the physical and emotional needs of others.  We join or create campaigns to fight against hunger, famine, or sickness, for instance.  It is good that we are doing these things.

As I write this, many are attempting to end their lives.  Many feel that they are worthless, nobody cares, and nothing can go right.  So they make the choice; rather, the choice makes them.

All the while, we have an answer.

One person is standing up for us.  Even though death tried to take him away from us, he came back.  At the end of his battle with death, only Jesus was left standing.  And he remains standing for us.  Nothing can cause him to sit, quit, or die on us; he remains standing for us.

That’s why the resurrection of Jesus (that moment when he beat death on death’s own terms) is the strongest source of hope that we could ever have.  We can never say that nothing is going right in our lives, so long as Jesus has beaten death.  We can never say that nobody believes in us, so long as Jesus is standing up for us.  We can never say that life will not turn out well, so long as Jesus stands, showing us that it all ends in life and glory, rather than death and condemnation.

One million people will commit suicide this year.  That’s one million people that probably do not know that one man is standing up for them.  And for every suicide there are 15 more attempts; that’s about 15 million people who are searching for one good reason to go on.  September is Suicide Awareness month.

Here’s my video:

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Is God Talking to Me?

samuel kee —  August 21, 2011 — Leave a comment

His sheep follow him in the little steps of life.

How do I know if God is talking to me?  This is a question that I am asked frequently by those who are trying to discern God’s will.  Most of us do not hear God’s audible voice, which complicates the matter.  How do I know if my feelings are really coming from God or if they’re just coming from me?

I can think of two basic ways of knowing if God is talking to you or not.  First, if it really is from God, then it will not contradict Scripture.  God will never tell you to violate his Holy Word.

Second, if it really is from God, you’ll know it.  I like to show this from Mary’s story in John 20:11-18.  In this passage, it’s remarkable to see how nothing can shake Mary from her sorrow.  Mary is chained to sorrow because of the death of her friend Jesus; it says that Mary was weeping (11).  Her sorrow is so thick, that not even the presence of two angels can shake her (12).  Even though two angelic beings are right in front of her eyes, she cannot unchain herself from sorrow in order to see hope.  Even more, the resurrected Jesus himself appears to her, but her sorrow still does not permit her to become unstuck (14).  She does not even recognize the person for whom she is mourning (15)!

None of us have had or ever will have such bold experiences of God in our lives, not only seeing him, but also hearing his voice audibly.  So, back to my first question, “How do I know if God is talking to me?”  Based on the example of Mary, it would seem as though more is involved than just speech and voice.

Mary does eventually snap out of it; and this moment is the key to our understanding about discerning God’s will.  Even when the two angels and sight of Jesus himself don’t penetrate her sorrow, something else does.  In verse 16, we read, “Jesus said to her, ‘Mary.’”  At that moment, Mary snapped out of it; she turned to him in complete recognition of whom he was.  Her chains were broken and she was set free.

What was so remarkable about Jesus saying her name?  To see this, we must go back a bit earlier in John’s gospel, to chapter 10, where Jesus says that he is the Good Shepherd.  Then he adds, “The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out” (3).  Notice the parallels and fulfillment between this text and Mary’s story.  Jesus calls his own sheep by name.  We can hear him saying, “Mary!”  Then it says, “and leads them out.”

Jesus called Mary by name and then led her out of her sorrow.

As I said above, if it really is from God, you’ll know it.  Truly hearing from God means that you’ll be changed in some way.  His word and will come to you with power; by nature, when he calls your name, he will lead you out.  How will you know if it’s really God talking to you?  It will be unmistakable: he will ask you to follow him in some way.

God knows his sheep and his sheep know his voice, especially the longer they walk with one another.  His sheep follow him in the little steps of life, tracking with his voice as they hear from him daily in Scripture.  We sheep can discern the voice of a stranger, “A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers” (5).

Most of us can discern God’s will; our problem tends not to be with hearing, but with submitting.

© Samuel Kee, 2011

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Porn Free

samuel kee —  August 19, 2011 — 1 Comment

If you only focus on Technique, then your life will collapse.

As a pastor, it is a privilege and honor for me to hear courageous stories from guys who admit they struggle with porn.  It’s not easy to own up to this subtle, yet deadly, addiction.  And when they get to the point of confessing their sins, the next question is always the same: how do I stop?

Some guys, of course, don’t want to stop.  Actually, lurking deep down in our intentions, even most guys who go so far as to admit it’s a problem, really don’t want to stop.  Others, however, truly are sick of the cycle and ready for relief.  What do I say to them?

If you turn on Christian radio or consult religious books on the subject, inevitably and unfortunately, you’ll hear the same sort of message about how to become porn-free.  The message that is hawked has to do with strategy.  Namely, try such-and-such technique in your fight against porn; methodology abounds as the issue is attacked from a “how to” vantage point.

I’ve read or heard boatloads of such methods.  “Bounce” your eyes away from an alluring image; don’t put your computer in your room; don’t have internet on your phone; don’t be alone with a source of temptation; don’t watch certain movies; don’t listen to certain music; get new friends; download accountability software; get an accountability partner; find a hobby; go for a jog, etc.

All of these techniques are very good and helpful, don’t hear me wrongly, but they will fail you if you rely only on them.  I promise.  For your heart, like mine, is black and wicked; and the source of our sin is not outside of us, but inside of us.  And mere technique will not get anywhere near the source of the problem.

A few posts ago, I wrote about Aristotle’s triangle of knowledge.  At the bottom of the triangle is truth; above truth is morality; and above morality is technique.  This is an extremely helpful way forward, and can help the both of us in our struggle against sexual sin.

Here’s why.  Truth is at the foundation; everything rests on Truth.  Truth is “What.”  Because of the “What” we know “Why” some things are right and some things are wrong; that’s Morality.  Once we know “Why” we ought to do some things and not others, we can begin to explore “How” is best to live; that’s Technique.

Technique—How do I live out morality?

Morality—Why are some things right or wrong?

Truth—What is reality?

If you only focus on Technique (How do I live out morality?) then your life will collapse.  There is no Truth beneath it.  When we fail to put Truth into our lives, then we have stunted morals and failing technique.  Technique alone will fail us.  Any approach to help you with porn that only gives you a handful of techniques will fail you.  You and I first need a foundation, which is the Truth.

Therefore, the best way to fight against a porn addiction is to put Truth into your life.  We have to bolster the foundation; only then will our Morality be revived and our Technique be successful.  Without Truth, every crumbles; you’ll never be convinced of good Morality and deep down you’ll care less if know how to do it.

Once we’re convinced of the Truth, Morality and Technique flow naturally.  I believe that with all my heart.

The Truth that I am speaking of is God’s Holy Word, the Bible.  The more Bible we ingest, the stronger our foundation becomes.  It’s not just about reading, but about meditating, memorizing, and feasting.  Scripture is your soul’s food and without it you’ll starve and collapse in a heap on the floor.  And no methodology will be able to revive you.

Our world is filled with those who are selling the latest Technique.  It’s sickening to me, because, in the end, when we sit in the ashes of our failure, shame is heaped upon guilt.  Drunken with failure, we hobble over to the next Technique, only to be knocked to the ground again.  The cycle continues until you finally give up.

You and I have to put God’s Word into our minds and hearts every day.  We have to build-up the Truth in our lives through Bible reading, listening to sermons, attending Bible studies, praying about Scripture, etc.  Do whatever it takes to build your foundation.  Let the Truth adjust your Morality; and let your Morality inspire your Technique.

Sorry to say that this post was not about “Ten Ways To Be Porn Free.”  I don’t want to be that cruel and deceptive to you.  I want to point you to the only wellspring that will work, God’s Holy Word.  Here’s the beautiful thing about God’s Word, which sets it apart from being just another Technique: it is more like acid than water.  In other words, when acid touches something, it affects it.  Intrinsically, acid has changing power.  It’s the same for God’s Word; when it touches something, that something will never be the same.  Even if you don’t see it, trust the process and know that God’s Word is always at work (Isaiah 55:11); for it is “living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword” (Hebrews 4:12).

We are not only saved by grace, but also we are sanctified by grace.  Grace, as Bonhoeffer wrote, will justify both the sin and the sinner.  In other words, God’s grace through Jesus on the cross will not just make you pure “on paper” but also in reality.  His grace will affect your life and change you for the good.  God’s grace will give you a new heart with new desires, as we un-handle our old life and grab hold of the Truth, which is the only way to new life.

© Samuel Kee, 2011

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